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WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat

By Dan

**You have entered the Backyard Brawl Chatroom with Beano Cook**

FranksAndBeanos: I’d like to welcome everybody to this special chat where I will discuss and answer questions about college football and the Mountaineers and Panthers upcoming battle: The Backstreet Ball.

Chat Moderator: Backyard Brawl

FranksAndBeanos: That’s right the Back Bay Bra.

Chat Moderator: Whatever you say Beano. Fire away with your questions for Beano everybody!

LacesOut: Hey Beaner, tell us some of your favorite memories of this rivalry. And wipe your mouth, you have prune juice over all your face.

FranksAndBeanos: Well Danny boy, I remember the first game in 1895 as if it were yesterday. I had just turned 35 and was working for my Daddy’s coal mine.

FranksandBeanos: Of course, I was excited to see what my favorite team could do after watching the first ever football match at Rutgers back in 1869 as a kid. Wait, what was the question again?

FranksAndBeanos: Anyway, most of you kids who were born in the 20th century might not be aware of just how historic this rivalry is being the 14th oldest in the US.

FranksAndBeanos: And that’s the story of how I had lunch with Abraham Lincoln.

Chat Moderator: /hands Beano a cup of coffee and bran muffin

FranksAndBeanos: Next question please, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila comes on soon and if I miss that, somebody is gonna have to shave my back.

tyler_turden: ITS PALKO TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

/tyler_turden has been banned by the chat moderator

Smokes_maypoles: Beano, did you see me on ESPN call this game the Backyard Maul? I said that instead of the brawl because it rhymes and it should be a blow out. Clever, eh?

smokes_maypoles: By the way when I played for Pitt, did you know we used to have to send out minefield robots before we ran onto the Mountaineer field?

FranksAndBeanos: Remember the robot from the TV show Small Wonder? Now that was a funny robot. What ever happened to it?

On_Your_Marc: What do you think about all the great athletes Pitt lets go to West Virginia from their own area?

FranksAndBeanos: I never understood why any player would want to go to WVU over Pitt. Pittsburgh is a great city to live in and you can buy sandwiches with French fries stuffed inside them

FranksAndBeanos: I prefer to spread Crisco on the deep fried slices of bread to give them an extra tangy zip.

FranksAndBeanos: /takes a huge bite of a turkey leg and sips orange juice.

FranksAndBeanos: /falls asleep

On_your_Marc: Did you even listen to what I said???

Chat Moderator: /holds a glazed ham under FranksAndBeanos nose

FranksAndBeanos: Thanks again Marc, good luck with the Los Angeles Rams the rest of the season in the USFL.

On_your_Marc: Whateva


IwannyU2RunFaster: Knock it off Mike, I’m serious!!

FranksAndBeanos: Ditka without a doubt. Wanny, no offense, but you couldn’t coach the Harlem Globetrotters against the Washington Generals.

FranksAndBeanos: By the way, good luck coaching the Circuit City Fire Dogs, Coach Ditka.

majorpayne: How did you get the name Beano?

FranksAndBeanos: People think it’s because I used to live in Boston. However, I got it because I used to enjoy bathing in baked beans smothered in brown sugar and bacon strips.

FranksAndBeanos: /pulls another turkey leg from under his 3rd chin flap

FranksAndBeanos: For Crissakes, does anybody have questions about college football?

Tim_Teboner: Who do u think iz gonna win the heisman?

FranksAndBeanos: Jimmy Clausen will win at least 3 heismans before he leaves Notre Dame.

Tim_Teboner: you iz crazy.

Tim_Teboner: /trims eyebrows and sideburns

THE_NEHLEN: Hey ol’ buddy. We sure as heckfire had some classic games in the brawl. But it isn’t a real dadgum rivalry since I took over in the 80’s.

FranksAndBeanos: That’s true Don. Pitt hasn’t dominated the series since they were wearing leather helmets and I was just learning how to drive the model T ford as a youngster.

THE_NEHLEN: And I reckon that’s not gonna change while Rodriguez is coachin them kids.

FranksAndBeanos: /falls asleep on a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a mason jar of cranberry juice

Joe_Mama: AND PITT IS NOT gunna play penn state as long as I’m coach. and im talking to the penn state medical and science research department about extending my life another 25 years!!!!!

IWannyU2RunFaster: Knock it off Joe, I’m serious!!!!

Joe_Mama: /runs to the bathroom holding the back of his pants

Coach_Walt_Harris: Even I know what itth like beating weth Virginia LMAO

TheVoiceOfTheEers: Beat the Hell outta Pitt!!!

Vegas Oddsmakers: WVU is a 28 ½ point favorite

IWannyU2RunFaster: /shakes head and nervously runs a comb through his mustache

radcoachrod: Wanny what r u doing? It’s 10 minutes till kickoff. Come take ur beating! By the way, have you met our toy with which we shall taunt you?

To_forgive_is_me has entered the chatroom

To_forgive_is_me: you need me coach?

IWannyU2RunFaster: #@$%^#&*%*#!!!!!!

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Poster Thread
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:53 pm  Updated: 11/28/2007 10:53 pm
Pitt Hater
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Beckley, West Virginia
Posts: 2402
 Re: WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat

Great Wire, Dan.
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:06 pm  Updated: 11/28/2007 11:39 pm
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Boone County, WV
Posts: 12965
 Re: WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat
Damn this shit is hilarious. I laughed the whole time that I read this.

Especially this..

smokes_maypoles: By the way when I played for Pitt, did you know we used to have to send out minefield robots before we ran onto the Mountaineer field
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:21 pm  Updated: 11/28/2007 11:21 pm
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: New Haven, WV
Posts: 8
 Re: WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat
Doesn't get much better than that!
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:46 pm  Updated: 11/28/2007 11:46 pm
Here for the Beer
Joined: 8/28/2007
From: Dallas, TX
Posts: 352
 Re: WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat
Grabs a drumstick under his third chin - lol, good one!
Posted: 11/29/2007 3:17 am  Updated: 11/29/2007 3:17 am
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Alkol, Lincoln County
Posts: 24871
 Re: WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat
i think it's actually possible to see beano say this type of crap.. especially with what he said today in the espn chat.
Posted: 11/29/2007 11:43 am  Updated: 11/29/2007 11:43 am
Joined: 2/9/2006
From: Houston, TX
Posts: 3727
 Re: WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat
Another classic.
Posted: 11/29/2007 4:57 pm  Updated: 11/29/2007 4:57 pm
Party Machine
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Bama but my hearts in West Virginia
Posts: 551
 Re: WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat

One of the funniest wires yet!
Posted: 11/29/2007 8:15 pm  Updated: 11/29/2007 8:15 pm
Grant Ave. Warrior
Joined: 7/9/2007
From: Canandaigua NY
Posts: 1189
 Re: WIRE - Beano's Backyard Brawl Chat


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