We Must Ignite This Couch Articles

THE WIRE- Mustache Rides and Week 1 for WVU

By Jude
2013/09/02

(Editor's note- After a few years of tirelessly pumping out game recaps from Mountaineer Football games, Dusty is taking this year off. Because I don't feel like getting bogged down in the details of what just happened, we're going to take a different approach this year- a fake chat board recapping what I imagine the post-game talk to be about. Enjoy.)







bombs_away_suckas: HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST THAT WAS AWFUL






WILD BILL CODY CLAY: aww shucks, coach. that wasnt too bad i don't reckon






bombs_away_suckas: EASY FOR YOU TO SAY- YOU BLOCKED LESS GUYS THAN BUIE TODAY AND HE'S IN ARKANSAS OR SOMETHING






WILD BILL CODY CLAY: : (






Millard Fillmore: Freakin' sweet brah. Got that start, threw them long ass TD bombs, pickin up ALL THE LADIES TONIGHT






trickett_or_treat: W/E






Millard Fillmore: Don't hate me cause you ain't me, brah. Go ahead, ask me how many yards that TD was. Ask me.






trickett_or_treat: I don't know and I don't care.






Millard Fillmore: ASK ME






THE_SIMS: /sigh how many yards was that TD?






Millard Fillmore: SIXTY-NINE, BABY HAHAHAHAH






I_MUSTACHE_U_A_QUESTION: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THATS GREAT AHAHAHAHAHAHA






Millard Fillmore:






Millard Fillmore: Dude who are you? You have the sweetest porn stache I've ever seen and let me tell you I've seen them ALL






I_MUSTACHE_U_A_QUESTION: I'm Nick O'Toole, the punter. I just won special teams' MVP and MUSTACHE RIDES LINE FORMS TO THE RIGHT, LADIES.






Millard Fillmore: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.






bombs_away_suckas: KNOCK IT OFF, NANCIES






bombs_away_suckas: IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE WE JUST NEEDED A 4TH QUARTER COMEBACK TO BEAT WILLY AND MARQUETTE OR WHOEVER THE HELL THAT WAS WE WERE PLAYING






Millard Fillmore: I don't know why you're mad at me Coach, the problem was that soft ass D again...






SHAQ-FU: ...






lewis_and_clarke: ...






hiimkarlandikillpeople: ...






Millard Fillmore: ummmm






Millard Fillmore: Alright maybe I shouldn't have fumbled






SHAQ-FU: /removes hands from Millard Fillmore's neck






bombs_away_suckas: LET ME JUST SEE WHO WE PLAY NEXT WEEK- OK GREAT IT'S ONLY OKLA-F$%&ING-HOMA






bombs_away_suckas: IF ANYONE NEEDS ME, I'LL EITHER BE WATCHING FILM OR IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM AT HUMMERS






I_MUSTACHE_U_A_QUESTION: Hey Millard instead of Shake and Bake we can be SCOOT AND BOOT






Millard Fillmore: SCOOT N BOOT! BRILLIANT






I_MUSTACHE_U_A_QUESTION: MUSTACHE RIDES AND 69ERS AT SCOOT N BOOTS TONIGHT GIRLS






THE_SIMS: Oh man, why did I leave Houston...
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Poster Thread
dawgeers
Posted: 9/2/2013 8:45 pm  Updated: 9/2/2013 8:45 pm
Suspected Punter
Joined: 6/13/2008
From: Mineral Wells, WBGV
Posts: 182
 Re: THE WIRE- Mustache Rides and Week 1 for WVU
Glad the wire is back!!!!! Some of these youngins are probaly asking who Millard Fillmore is though!
Queen_Dean
Posted: 9/2/2013 9:39 pm  Updated: 9/2/2013 9:39 pm
Grant Ave. Warrior
Joined: 7/4/2008
From: Summersville, WV
Posts: 776
 Re: THE WIRE- Mustache Rides and Week 1 for WVU
Great to have the WIRE...I bet Sims really is wondering why he left Houston.
BeastoftheEast
Posted: 9/4/2013 4:56 pm  Updated: 9/4/2013 4:56 pm
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Boone County, WV
Posts: 12958
 Re: THE WIRE- Mustache Rides and Week 1 for WVU
Excellent return for the Wire.
wvuengineer
Posted: 9/4/2013 8:54 pm  Updated: 9/4/2013 8:54 pm
Pitt Hater
Joined: 2/8/2008
From: Huntington, WV
Posts: 1783
 Re: THE WIRE- Mustache Rides and Week 1 for WVU
YEAH! ITS BACK!!!

I_MUSTACHE_U_A_QUESTION: I'm Nick O'Toole, the punter. I just won special teams' MVP and MUSTACHE RIDES LINE FORMS TO THE RIGHT, LADIES.

Classic!
Monney
Posted: 6/22/2014 8:48 pm  Updated: 6/22/2014 8:48 pm
Pitt Hater
Joined: 12/8/2010
From: Morgantown
Posts: 1303
 Re: THE WIRE- Mustache Rides and Week 1 for WVU
Holy **** mods.... Get your act together!
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