We Must Ignite This Couch Articles

WIRE- Coaches' Caravan Fun

By Jude
2009/06/04

**You have entered the Coaches' Caravan Chat**

HuggUlongtime: So then I says to the waitress, "Yeah, next time bring your own melons"

HuggUlongtime: HAHAHA I love that story.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: That's a real humdinger, Bob.

Lynyrd_Skynyrds_long_lost_brother: LOL I GET THAT JOKE. THAT'S HILAAAAARIOUS.

HuggUlongtime: Who the hell let this guy in here?

HuggUlongtime: Like anyone paid 100 bucks to hang out with the coach of a baseball team that makes the College World Series like I drink nonalcoholic beer.

Lynyrd_Skynyrds_long_lost_brother:

HuggUlongtime: AHA, I'm just f***in with you bro.

kid: Excuse me, Mr. Stewart?

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Hey there, chubby little fella. What can ol Bill do ya fer.

kid: Where do you think the Mountaineers will finish in the Big East this year?

kid: And if I may be permitted a follow-up, where is the cake?

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Well say now, that's a real good question. Real good. Lookin around at all the INCREDIBLE teams in the Big East this year I sure don't know. I mean, South Florida reminds me of the '95 Nebraska Cornhuskers, and Cincinnati looks like the '72 USC Trojans. And Pitt? Jeez Louise, they're practically the '92 Dallas Cowboys.

kid: So where do you think we fit in?

kid: Also, the direction of the cake, please.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: I'd have to say that I think we'll finish fourth.

HuggUlongtime: /talking to someone else

HuggUlongtime: ... and then the janitor looks at me and says, "Well, I'm certainly not cleaning up all this barf."

HuggUlongtime: Wait, did you just tell that kid you think you're going to finish FOURTH in the Big East?

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Yeah, that's what I've been telling everyone.

HuggUlongtime: Jesus, way to raise expectations around the program there, Billy Boy.

HuggUlongtime: Please tell me this is some kind of weird ploy to get your players motivated.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Nah, I think that's where we'll finish. I mean did you watch last year? The rest of our conference is like a buzzsaw, and we're the wood.

HuggUlongtime: I don't know how to say this, but if you finish fourth in the f***ing big east... in football... I'll kill you until you're dead from it.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Well that's sure a helluva mean thing to sa...

HuggUlongtime: You're playing in a BASKETBALL LEAGUE. The teams you think you'll finish behind have had relevant football programs for like, 3 weeks.

HuggUlongtime: And it doesn't exactly do you any favors on the recruiting trail when kids see that you think your team sucks.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Now wait just a goshdarned second.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Just because I respect the other members of my conference doesn't mean my team won't play well.

HuggUlongtime: Respect? You think that's respect? Let me show you respect.

HuggUlongtime: HEY, STEVE!

Lynyrd_Skynyrds_long_lost_brother: Um, it's Greg, sir.

HuggUlongtime: WHATEVER.

HuggUlongtime: FETCH ME A GIN AND TONIC BEFORE I KICK YOUR TEETH IN

Lynyrd_Skynyrds_long_lost_brother: Yes, sir.

HuggUlongtime: Now THAT'S respect.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: That's not respect. That's fear.

HuggUlongtime: What's the difference? You're talking about your opponents like they piss excellence.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: We just have different styles.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: See, watch this.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: /to reporter

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: I sure do hope my boys are capable of matching up against the incredible, NFL-ready talent they'll face in the opening game against the juggernaut Liberty Flames. Otherwise, we could lose by 80.


**You have entered the WVU Players Chat**

whatcanbrowndo4U: That is absolutely stupid. I wonder what Coach Stew has been smoking?

puntazgetsl8d: coach and me been blastin them bluntz, yafeelme
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Dan
Posted: 6/4/2009 12:29 pm  Updated: 6/4/2009 12:29 pm
Staff Writer
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: DC
Posts: 414
 Re: WIRE- Coaches' Caravan Fun


Dude I shot chocolate milk out my nose over the fat kid/cake part. And that is weird considering I haven't had chocolate milk in months.
BeastoftheEast
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:19 pm  Updated: 6/4/2009 3:19 pm
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Boone County, WV
Posts: 12965
 Re: WIRE- Coaches' Caravan Fun
Van Zant's appearance here, especially as Huggins's personal whipping boy is hilarious.

And I too liked the fat kid and cake part.
msaul37
Posted: 6/5/2009 6:01 am  Updated: 6/5/2009 6:01 am
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Alkol, Lincoln County
Posts: 24646
 Re: WIRE- Coaches' Caravan Fun
yafeelme?
wooddash
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:34 am  Updated: 6/5/2009 9:34 am
Pitt Hater
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: Rockville, MD
Posts: 2418
 Re: WIRE- Coaches' Caravan Fun
I'll kill you until you're dead from it
southwvboy
Posted: 6/5/2009 6:20 pm  Updated: 6/5/2009 6:20 pm
Gettin' Schmitty
Joined: 1/25/2006
From: ohio via Panther WV
Posts: 9511
 Re: WIRE- Coaches' Caravan Fun
HuggUlongtime: I don't know how to say this, but if you finish fourth in the f***ing big east... in football... I'll kill you until you're dead from it.

I want this in a banner for my sig. That is epic.
MikeOly
Posted: 6/6/2009 3:12 pm  Updated: 6/6/2009 3:12 pm
Pitt Hater
Joined: 10/18/2006
From: Washington, DC
Posts: 1839
 Re: WIRE- Coaches' Caravan Fun
quote]HuggUlongtime: I don't know how to say this, but if you finish fourth in the f***ing big east... in football... I'll kill you until you're dead from it.


I didn't see this as funny. More like "exactely how I think about this season."

Is it sad that I wish that HuggUlongtime were my friend irl? Not the actual Huggins, but the wire one.
wheelert
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:13 am  Updated: 6/10/2009 8:13 am
Gettin' Schmitty
Joined: 9/15/2006
From: Monrovia MD
Posts: 7691
 Re: WIRE- Coaches' Caravan Fun
Stewart-Respect All, Fear None

Huggy-f*** 'em all, I want the Lakers!
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