We Must Ignite This Couch Articles

WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers

By Jude
2008/12/16



**You have entered the Mountaineer Coaches' Chat**

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: /to reporter

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: By golly, I'll tell you what. We played our hearts out this season and I'm dadgum proud of what our lads did out there.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: And I'll tell you another thing too, bucko. It was an honor losing to ECU, Colorado, Cincinnati, and Pitt. And I'll tell you what, I didn't like watching our guys lose four times this year, but it was excitin', wasn't it!?!

HuggUlongtime: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH

HuggUlongtime: WOAH

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Say hey there, Bobby Huggins. Whatchu doin over here on the football side of the pumpkin patch?

HuggUlongtime: I was just over on the other side of the facility hooking Wellington Smith's nuts up to a car battery and I couldn't help but to notice your comments to the press.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: What's wrong with them?

HuggUlongtime: Well, it's indicative of the problem that you've been having this season. You're too... how do I put this... nice

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: What do you mean?

HuggUlongtime: Well, first of all, you don't come out in a press conference talking about a four-loss season and pretend like your team was crapping gumdrops and farting rainbows all year.

HuggUlongtime: Let me show you something.

HuggUlongtime: Check out this article from after the bball team's WIN against Duquesne. Here's my quote:

"When you miss that many, you've got to get used to going and getting them," Huggins said. "We didn't make any shots."

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Yeah, so what?

HuggUlongtime: So I took something we did well (rebounding) and used it as a criticism of something we did poorly (shooting). Hell, I even threatened my two injured starting guards towards the end of the column.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: So, I can be criticial, too.

HuggUlongtime: HA. Yeah, right. Compare that to your comments in this article after LOSING. To PITT:

“That was a tremendous football game, with a ton of effort on both sides,” WVU coach Bill Stewart said afterward. “I have a very emotionally hurt lockerroom right now, and I think that’s a reflection of how hard we competed.

“A game like that is what college football is all about.”

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Yeah, what's wrong with that?

HuggUlongtime: "Tremendous football game"? "How hard we competed"? That's "what college football is all about"? Are you out of your mind? You just lost to your blood rival! They're painting you as a softie, coach!

HuggUlongtime: And it's not just the press conferences. You treat the kids too nice, too. You gotta put the fear of God into these kids or they'll lollygag their way around everything.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Gee, Bob. I'm not sure if I agree with that. Mama always said kill 'em with kindness and that's how I like to do things. Here, watch this.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Hey, Noel, go deep, wouldja please?

to_forgive_is_me: pssshhhht w/e

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Aw, fiddlesticks.

HuggUlongtime: See, that's what I'm talking about. You gotta make them fear you. Let me try it now.

HuggUlongtime: Go deep, Noel.

to_forgive_is_me: pssssh...

HuggUlongtime: GET THE **** OFF YOUR ASS AND GO DEEP BEFORE I RIP YOUR ****ING HEAD OFF AND **** DOWN YOUR NECK!!!!

to_forgive_is_me: OH DAMN

to_forgive_is_me: /runs furiously

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Wow, that's pretty impres...

HuggUlongtime: I SAID ****ING RUN, NOT WALK YOU MAGGOT SON OF A BITCH ****ING RETARD ****LICKING PIECE OF GOAT ****!!


**to_forgive_is_me has just broken the sound barrier**


Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Well, golly. Maybe I have gotten it wrong all this time. Maybe I should be more of a hard...

HuggUlongtime: Say it.

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: A hard...

HuggUlongtime: SAY IIIIIIIIIT!!!

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: A HARD ASS!!!

HuggUlongtime: YES!!!! NOW GO OUT THERE AND KICK SOME ASS!!!

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: YOU'RE DARN TOOTIN'!


**You have entered the WVU press conference chat**


Dolla_Dolla_Bill: WE'VE GOT ENOUGH COAL IN THIS STATE TO HEAT THE WORLD!

HuggUlongtime: Um, that's not what I was talking about.


Read Jude's weBLog | Comments (19) | Trackback (0)
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Poster Thread
gameface25
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:33 am  Updated: 12/17/2008 9:33 am
Pitt Hater
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Roanoke, VA
Posts: 2028
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
/standing ovation

its so true, yet also so freaking hilarious in this format!

Breaks the sound barrier, ROFLMAO

you have a gift Jude...
silvercire
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:37 am  Updated: 12/17/2008 9:37 am
Grant Ave. Warrior
Joined: 2/1/2008
From: Seattle - BRUUCCEEEE
Posts: 986
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
HuggUlongtime: I SAID ****ING RUN, NOT WALK YOU MAGGOT SON OF A BITCH ****ING RETARD ****LICKING PIECE OF GOAT ****!!


**to_forgive_is_me has just broken the sound barrier**


priceless.

Now only if this convesation were real...
whitemamba
Posted: 12/17/2008 10:33 am  Updated: 12/17/2008 10:33 am
Grant Ave. Warrior
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: Tucker County, WV
Posts: 789
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
Quote:
Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Hey, Noel, go deep, wouldja please?

to_forgive_is_me: pssshhhht w/e

Dolla_Dolla_Bill: Aw, fiddlesticks.


I'm sitting in the computer lab at school right now and I almost lost it in front of my teacher and all these people when I read that. It took so much for me to hold that back.

The end was hilarious too.

One of the best Wires IMO. Nice job, Jude.
Mike25
Posted: 12/17/2008 11:52 am  Updated: 12/17/2008 11:52 am
Makin' it Rain
Joined: 9/8/2008
From: Fairfax, Va
Posts: 3265
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
Great article. LMAO.
EERCrazy
Posted: 12/17/2008 12:10 pm  Updated: 12/17/2008 12:10 pm
Gettin' Schmitty
Joined: 2/2/2008
From:
Posts: 9153
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
HuggUlongtime: I SAID ****ING RUN, NOT WALK YOU MAGGOT SON OF A BITCH ****ING RETARD ****LICKING PIECE OF GOAT ****!!


PRICELESS!!!!! The Wire rules...thanks jude....
preluderl
Posted: 12/17/2008 12:31 pm  Updated: 12/17/2008 12:31 pm
Gettin' Schmitty
Joined: 2/21/2008
From: Mannington, WV
Posts: 6886
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
HuggUlongtime: I was just over on the other side of the facility hooking Wellington Smith's nuts up to a car battery and I couldn't help but to notice your comments to the press.

navi8orgirl
Posted: 12/17/2008 1:02 pm  Updated: 12/17/2008 1:02 pm
WMITC
Joined: 2/9/2006
From: Houston, TX
Posts: 3727
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
Note to self: do NOT read The Wire while at work....
sc-wvu4ever
Posted: 12/17/2008 1:42 pm  Updated: 12/17/2008 1:42 pm
Makin' it Rain
Joined: 1/12/2008
From: South Charleston
Posts: 3482
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
Jude...great Wire....some classic lines in this one...and as with all pieces of work that make us laugh, there is plenty of truth in this one.
glibglub
Posted: 12/17/2008 2:17 pm  Updated: 12/17/2008 2:17 pm
Makin' it Rain
Joined: 1/6/2008
From:
Posts: 3741
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
I love - love - the Hannibal Lecter mask on Huggs.
whitemamba
Posted: 12/17/2008 6:06 pm  Updated: 12/17/2008 6:06 pm
Grant Ave. Warrior
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: Tucker County, WV
Posts: 789
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
Quote:
Note to self: do NOT read The Wire while at work....


Haha, allow me to make the same note to myself, except applying to school instead. I almost made a huge ass of myself when I read this.
navi8orgirl
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:11 pm  Updated: 12/17/2008 8:11 pm
WMITC
Joined: 2/9/2006
From: Houston, TX
Posts: 3727
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
I actually half choked and half sprayed my monitor with coffee losing it. The Hannibal mask did it.
Jude
Posted: 12/18/2008 9:44 am  Updated: 12/18/2008 9:44 am
WMITC
Joined: 1/20/2006
From: Eastern Panhandle, WV
Posts: 3915
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
If you like the Wire, the archives are a good way to kill a few hours, for those that aren't aware of its existence.

You can find the archive for the Wires by going to articles and then sorting to the wires, or just go here.

This is actually the third appearance with Huggins and the Hannibal mask. The first was in this wire, the second was when the players were testing out the Huggymeter.

Thanks for all the comments and for reading.

MikeOly
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:16 am  Updated: 12/18/2008 11:16 am
Pitt Hater
Joined: 10/18/2006
From: Washington, DC
Posts: 1839
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
Greatest...Wire...Ever
dubV0211
Posted: 12/22/2008 11:34 am  Updated: 12/22/2008 11:34 am
Suspected Punter
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: Pittsburgh,PA
Posts: 81
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
I'v read some of the best WIRES, and this one is really up high on the top 10 list, amazing....
wvuclarinet
Posted: 12/23/2008 10:32 pm  Updated: 12/23/2008 10:32 pm
Makin' it Rain
Joined: 3/5/2008
From: Morgantown, West Virginia
Posts: 3832
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
tehehehe!

loves it
BeastoftheEast
Posted: 12/25/2008 1:18 am  Updated: 12/25/2008 1:18 am
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Boone County, WV
Posts: 12965
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
I was sitting there at work minding the kids in the ISS room when I read this...I had to keep myself from laughing out loud while telling them to stay quiet lol.
turnip
Posted: 12/28/2008 11:56 am  Updated: 12/28/2008 11:56 am
Noob
Joined: 5/10/2008
From: moorefield, wv
Posts: 9
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
Queen_Dean
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:29 am  Updated: 1/3/2009 12:29 am
Grant Ave. Warrior
Joined: 7/4/2008
From: Summersville, WV
Posts: 776
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
The WIRE is the best feature on this site IMO...Great fun... Jude you are one talented dude. I also liked the Halloween WIRE.

Great job...Keep these coming

Fondly,

The Dean
msaul37
Posted: 1/10/2009 3:46 pm  Updated: 1/10/2009 3:46 pm
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Alkol, Lincoln County
Posts: 24646
 Re: WIRE- Huggins gives Stewart some pointers
where's the part where the kids bonded?
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